"Soft Fried Egg"

The anecdote I am about to tell and the topic I am going to discuss have one thing in common: Eggs.

Two eggs to be specific. One was fried, the other wasn't. You want to know why this egg never had the chance to turn it's dark-transparent slime into crispy white yolk surrounding? The answer is colors. You see, eggs tend to be very simple when it comes to colors. Ask anyone how many colors an egg has and they'll most likely say two. The reason why the un-fried egg ended up in the siphon is because it had one more color than it's supposed to.

Mom was at work and she had asked us to make dinner. Due to talent and time restrictions, I decided to make a basic tortilla española. Crack the first egg, crack the second egg, whoa. What the hell? Is that? No, no, no, no, no. There's an extra color in my egg! And that extra color is dark red. And red inside an egg can only mean one thing: blood. And blood can only mean: fetus. And fetus means that that egg I was just about to feed my sister and I was fertilized. More than that, it was in the process of becoming a chicken. I've kept a dead chicken inside an egg in my fridge for who knows how long. I refuse to eat eggs now. Eggs bother me.

There are actually a lot of reasons why eggs would bother someone, I've learned. Guitar for example, dislikes "soft fried eggs" because they look like white people. He actually has a thing against eggs in general because " a negro ain't never been no egg" (p.115). Actually, Guitar only hates eggs when a negro claims to be one. You might think this is absurd, but Guitar's got a point here: "Eggs is difficult, complicated. Fragile too. And white" (p.116). I find those very valid reasons for a "negro" not to be an egg. But there's something that doesn't make sense in all this Guitar. When Macon says he's a "soft fried egg" you get pissed off. But you've called him Milkman all your life, and as long as I know milk is white. So how come this doesn't bother you? I'll tell you why. You're not mad at Macon comparing himself to an egg. You used that to make a point you've been wanting to make for a very long time. Macon's not as poor as the rest of you "black folks." He's a wannabe white with that beach house and that ginger girlfriend. And while he's having the time of his life in that limbo between "Not Doctor Street" and "Southside," there are blacks being killed by whites. Milkman's ashamed of being black. That's why he said he was a "soft fried egg" and not a "crow" or a "baboon." He's one of those "racial Negroes," that's why you're mad at him. You more than anyone know it's not about milk or eggs. It's about what's going on in the real world. All people want are white things. "White eggs," "white tea bags," "white lifestyles." Bunch of racists huh?