CR

I was home alone, as usual with nothing much to do. Who would have guessed that such a big castle could be so boring. Thank God I'm a twenty-first century version of Hamlet. I don't know how my predecessors lived without the internet. Anyways, I was browsing at some pages and had the crazy idea of googling myself up. The first thing that appeared was this webpage called "To be, or not to be." I was kind of mad at fist because no one asked for my permission. I don't think that's even legal. But, I was in no mood of calling a lawyer so I clicked on this page to see what it was all about.

It turns out this webpage was designed for me. I wish they had created it sooner though. It would've been of so much help. It brought back old memories and with the memories came old fears and dilemmas. It was a questionnaire. Each question had two options. Below the questions, were the letters CR. If you clicked on it, what appear to be my inner feelings showed up in a box at the left of the screen. I don't recall telling anyone how I felt so I don't know where they got this information. But I have to say, it was pretty accurate.

I started getting really into this questionnaire. It was tough to answer. Come on Hamlet, I'd say to myself. Think. Do something. You have to get this right. Come on, click on some answer. No pressure, no pressure. Breathe. That's it. This is just a game you found online. It's no big deal. Let's see, question number one...


1. Regarding the king:
A) Kill him and seek revenge
B) "Hold my tongue" and take no action

2. If you chose B to question one, skip this question. If you chose A, choose one of the following:
A) Kill the king while he prays
B) Kill him some other time

I spent more than five minutes in this question so I decided to click on the CR. It read:
Although Hamlet realized that killing his uncle was a cruel thing to do, he tried to keep his soul as clean as possible.
"O heart, lose not thy nature; let not ever
The soul of Nero enter this firm bosom.
Let me be cruel, not unnatural;
I will speak daggers to her, but use none." (400- 404)
The nature of his heart, was to be good. Avenging his father's death was something he had to do. But that's as far as he wanted to go. Hamlet seemed to be scared of how ambitious he would get. He was afraid that he wouldn't be able to contain these spiteful feelings. Hamlet struggled with his ambition and his morality.

This dilemma is portrayed throughout Act three. We see an example of Hamlet's inability to decide as his first opportunity to kill the king approaches:

"Now might I do it pat. Now he is a-praying.
And now I’ll do ’t. And so he goes to heaven.
And so am I revenged. That would be scanned." (76-78)

Although he seems determined to slain his uncle, he hesitates and comes up with the following:

"A villain kills my father, and, for that,
I, his sole son, do this same villain send
To heaven." (79-81)

If Hamlet killed Claudius while he prayed, his soul would be at peace and he would go to heaven. Hamlet, instead of taking revenge, would be doing Claudius a favor. Although Hamlet's analysis makes sense, we get the impression that Hamlet uses this as an excuse to postpone the killing of his uncle.

Hmm. Very interesting. I do have to admit that for a good hearted person like me, committing such atrocious act wasn't easy. My mind was clear and I knew it was better to wait.
"He took father grossly, full of bread,
With all his crimes broad blown, as flush as May." (82-83)

My father died with sins in his heart. I was not going to let Claudius walk into heaven empty handed. I would wait until
He was "drunk asleep, or in his rage,
Or in th' incestuous pleasure of his bed,
At game a-swearing, or about some act
That has no relish of salvation in ’t—"
Yes. I will wait. My answer is B.